It is strange, I suppose, that us humans get these sudden impulses to do seemingly inexplicable acts. Sometimes I just want to thrash my legs around or rub my face repeatedly for no apparent reason. At least there is a point to a dog chasing his tail or barking like mad--they stem from traits that would be beneficial in the wild.
Today I slammed on the breaks driving my brother back from the grocery store, just to see. It was pointless but somehow I needed to do it to satisfy this urge. It is like when you learn to drive and you are told to drive on the turtle bumps on the road so you can build this spacial awareness around you and the car. I was building sensory awareness between my foot and the brake.
Immediately after I felt guilty about it. It is not like anyone got hurt; no one was around. My brother was a bit confused and shaken up, but that wasn't why I felt guilty. I felt guilty because I had acted on a bad and potentially dangerous impulse.
Obviously I don't act on many bad impulses. Most people do not. We learn that, yes, it is bad to spit water from a straw at someone and, no, you should not crack a raw egg in your bare hand.
So my question is, why could I not control it today? Are my filters and my sensibility deteriorating? Or is it natural to do what you ought not?
-A
Today I slammed on the breaks driving my brother back from the grocery store, just to see. It was pointless but somehow I needed to do it to satisfy this urge. It is like when you learn to drive and you are told to drive on the turtle bumps on the road so you can build this spacial awareness around you and the car. I was building sensory awareness between my foot and the brake.
Immediately after I felt guilty about it. It is not like anyone got hurt; no one was around. My brother was a bit confused and shaken up, but that wasn't why I felt guilty. I felt guilty because I had acted on a bad and potentially dangerous impulse.
Obviously I don't act on many bad impulses. Most people do not. We learn that, yes, it is bad to spit water from a straw at someone and, no, you should not crack a raw egg in your bare hand.
So my question is, why could I not control it today? Are my filters and my sensibility deteriorating? Or is it natural to do what you ought not?
-A
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