Monday, July 25, 2011

If You Are Mildly Interesting, You Make My Blog...

Tomorrow, my friend becomes an adult. Yes, it is her birthday, so naturally I went shopping for her present just today. After I got her real gift, I went to the grocery store to pick up a bag of Swedish Fish (red only) as I do for every gift giving occasion as they are her favorite candy.

As I was perusing the delicious candy that will undoubtedly be the death of me, a cute stock boy walked up with handfuls of candy. 

I turned to him, stuck out my hand and said, "Let's date." And he agreed and we skipped off through the floral department and lived happily ever after...

...But not. The wonderfully awkward person I am, I stood another couple awkward seconds, averted my eyes from the hunk standing next to me, and walked away. A couple seconds after I left, I realized I hadn't even gotten the Swedish Fish I had came for. I didn't want to have to make another trip so, after a few moments of hesitation, laziness won out over embarrassment and I quickly shuffled back, grabbed the candy, and headed towards the self checkout where I could avoid having to talk to a cashier and hide my red face in shame.

Standing in the line, another boy about my age working the self scanners walked up next to me. I was painfully aware of his presence just a few inches from mine. He wasn't cute like the other boy, he was a little (a lot) awkward, his glasses slightly crooked. His flaming red hair matched my flaming red face as I desperately wished for the people ahead of me to hurry up. But of course the lady on my right was digging through her purse for loose pennies, paying her $2.39 one penny at a time, and the man on my left was about how old I would be once I got through the line (so like, 87).


I considered, for a fraction of a second, pretending like I hadn't heard him. But seeing as I have not yet built up enough bitch to completely ignore someone, I turned my head and smiled. "Hi," I said back.

"How's your day?" He held his control scanner like you would imagine a proud hall monitor would hold his detention pad.

"Pretty good, thanks...You?"

"Oh, it's been great so far!" He said this far too enthusiastically. And then I realized that I had seen this boy the day previous. Yes...yes he was the boy who was overly eager to help as I was buying Milano cookies. Before I had even bagged my purchase, the red headed boy was right at my side, tearing the receipt, handing it to me, saying, "Don't forget your receipt, miss! And have a great day!" See you soon. Love you! Ah, of course. How could I forget Eager Boy?

Thankfully, this realization did not take the two minutes it took me to write it, but a split second, and as it occurred to me I had thankfully progressed to a self checkout stand of my own. I breathed a sigh of relief as I half jogged to the checkout.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when out of the corner of my eye I saw Eager, control in hand, smile on his face. I could tell he thought our conversation was still going, so I smiled politely but continued with my purchase. After a few seconds of confusion, he slowly sidestepped away.

Thankfully in that moment, a friend of mine (also an attractive boy!) tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hey!" I called, relieved for the break of tension.

I finished buying my stupid Swedish Fish and Lemon Drops and, with a final "Have a good day!" from Eager boy, left the grocery store with my monthly quota of awkward filled.

As anti-climatic as ever, I don't really have a point to this story. So I will satisfy a conclusion with this comic:



  1. I love the way you write! :D
    Follow for a follow? x

  2. I will definitely check out your blog! Thanks Lees!


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