What a Beautiful Mess this is...

Currently listening to:

A Beautiful Mess by Jason Mraz


Ahh, the blog world. I will welcome myself to it.

Welcome!

Blogging is so new age and innovative and...utterly normal (apparently). I never really paid any attention to the blogging world until recently. I'm not sure what exactly made me pay attention to it. Maybe it was the article on fashion blogs that ran in the November 2009 issue of Teen Vogue. The caption of the article said: "Who's that girl? Street-style blogs are turning chic real girls into fashion's next big stars."

And I thought to myself, "Huh, wow. That is pretty cool. Passionate yet totally normal girls are making themselves heard, and through blogging nonetheless." So, I started my own blog.

Am I looking to be "fashion's next big star"? No. Am I looking to be a big star? No. Am I looking to go into fashion?! No. Well truthfully, I don't know. Like most people, I don't really know what I want in life. I don't know what I want to do in terms of a career, classes I'm going to take Senior year, or even if I want to bring lunch to school tomorrow.

But it's okay (...at least for now) to not know what I want to do. I'm only 17. I have a little bit more time to figure out what I want. But I eventually¹ have to figure it out , right?

Right.

At least that's what I think. I tend to change my mind a lot. But for now, at this moment that my fingers are tap tap tapping away on the keyboard, I know that I want to figure things out.

So this blog, this anonymous yet very public method of experiencing self-realization is commencing. Right here, right now. This very moment is where I start on my high school journey to figuring out who I am. What college am I going to go to? What do I want to major in? How do I write an essay telling you who I am when I don't even know who I am?!"

This blog will be the record of my natural attempt to figure things out.

Who am I?

• I am a high school Junior. I am Haewon.


• I love: getting lost in reading, writing until I fall asleep and my head bangs the keyboard, everything about the magical world of filmmaking, sleeping in my own bed, listening to the harsh rain, breathing in the cool Seattle air, pouring through fashion magazines, letting music dictate my mood, playing my lovely clarinet and guitar, holding an in depth conversation, attempting anything new, keeping myself awake at night, living in my own world, singing like I'm Christina Aguilera, dancing with no rhythm, being in empty school hallways, shaking people's hands...


• I live and love Seattle


• I don't know who I am. But I think that is exciting in some very intimidating way.

My life may be a mess, but it's a beautiful mess.

-Haewon

¹ : eventually meaning "sooner rather than later", "within the next few years", "hurry up and get your act together!"