This May Call for a Proper Introduction...

Currently Listening to:

The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage by Panic! at the Disco

Ahh, Junior Year. Nice to finally meet you!

Up until now, Junior year hadn't seemed like it was going to be so bad. I went into it nervous and cautious, yet prepared and hopeful. And then when it started I thought, "Hey, you know what? I think I can do this." Of course there were the occasional late nights of calculus homework, the days that seemed to stretch on and on and onnnnnnnnnn, having to watch Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth for the third time in two years. It wasn't the most exciting year, for sure. But it wasn't really abnormally or unexpectedly hard either. I had been warned, we ALL had been warned, that Junior year was the toughest year. But it wasn't until this week that I found out just how right they were.

U.S. History midterms, Spanish exams on the subjunctive, Calculus tests about inverse trigonometric functions!? Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

I am definitely starting to become overwhelmed. There are only so many times I can slip up before I'm branded as a slacker. It's scary. It's scary because I'm not a slacker. It hurts when your best work is suddenly not good enough and it's nerve-racking to feel like you are too overwhelmed to fix it.

And that's where I am. I know I can do it, I know that it will all turn out okay. I am positive that I am doing my best to balance my life but I am also certain that I have a lot on my plate. I started a new service club this year to help the local homeless community, I am in a full IB/AP schedule, I play musical instruments, I am in several other clubs, and I have to complete a billion hours of community service.

Okay, okay. I know. Stop complaining. I have more things to be thankful about than I can even comprehend. But that doesn't mean that I am not also a very stressed out person.

Every high school junior and senior feels the pressure to be college material. There is a lot to think about: what classes should I be taking, and how many AP/IB classes do I need to be in, and what clubs should I join, and should I volunteer more than I already do? Those are the questions we are all asking. Each and every one of us, including myself. But are we asking the wrong questions?

I think we are.

We should be asking things like, who cares? What colleges do I like the best? Where do I belong? What is best for me? Basically: me, me, me!

Yes, I am saying we should be selfish once in a while. Especially when it comes to our own happiness and well-being. I'm no shrink, but it makes sense. While it's nice to get advice from those you trust, you need to do what your gut is telling you. College, just one of many major events we will go through, is going to be something that affects you for the rest of your life. It won't define you, of course. But it will have some impact, big or small, on your life. It's our job to figure out what will make us happy, not what will make everyoneelsebutme happy.

So, what is my gut telling me? It's telling me that my stress is a sign that I care. I care so much about school and learning that it's making me go crazy. I need to take a small step back (or maybe a large leap) and assess my situation. Maybe I am taking on too much at once in terms of classes and clubs, maybe I need to time manage more efficiently, maybe I need to stop sleeping and start studying! (Well, no. Not that. That would be a bad solution considering that I am no vampire.)

Whatever problem I have, there is a solution. And whatever solution I have can be achieved. A problem is a problem but the size of the problem is really up to you.

it. is. up. to. you.


-Haewon

P.S. Happy Veterans Day!
Please take some time out of your day to honor the Veterans. Even just googling the topic and educating yourself a bit is good :)

P.P.S. It is so late right now and I probably should not have written such a scatterbrained post but there it is. My 2 a.m. ramblings. Do you ever get those? I apparently do!