Monday, February 14, 2011

My Funny Valentine...

About a week ago, I picked up four books that I put on hold at the tiny library at the mall five minutes up the street. I went home, got into bed, cracked open the first book, and promptly fell asleep. Next night. I lay in bed, ready to have a nice full night of reading as I used to always do in middle school. Again, I opened the book and, though I got further than I had the night before, fell asleep barely past the dedication page.

This whole past week has been much of the same: open book, try to read, fall asleep. I don't know where I got the idea that I would actually have time to sit down and enjoy a good book when I can't even find enough time in the day to finish my homework, let alone have a moment to myself. I had thought that, because I'm in my second semester of senior year, I could "coast". However, after first semester finals I quickly realized that that would not be the case. No sirreebob.

But despite all of groggy gray can't-rip-myself-outta-bed mornings, all of the can't-go-home-and-face-my-homework afternoons, and evenings which basically consist of my forehead in my spaghetti, I have found little ways to keep me going. Take, for example, Mid Winter break. I frequently find myself saying, "You just have to survive 7 more school days until you get a week off!", "You just have to survive 6 more school days until you get a week off!", "5 more days, you can do it!" Or, in trying to wake myself up in the morning I just think, "If you wake up now, you can eat a cookie for breakfast!" and when that doesn't work, "Okay, TWO cookies!" and when THAT doesn't work, I give in to myself and say, "Fine! You can have the whole box of cookies PLUS a cinnamon roll! Just get out of bed already! Jesus flippin' Christ!"

But the best way to motivate myself to go to school? Thinking about him. You know, that one guy that always sets your heart aflutter when he glances your way and makes you tongue-tied and giggly. Some may call it a crush but I like to think of it as entertainment, or punishment, depending on which stage I'm in.

Finding you have a crush on someone is really a great way to pass the time, especially when school is a drag (doubly especially on Valentine's Day!). For one, you can facebook creep/stalk. You could spend HOURS facebook creepin', easily. Also, it gives one an incentive to go to school and look cute every day. And crushin' on someone is nice because then you get to gush to your friends about that "hot boy in my class...you know, the one that doesn't talk to me and doesn't know my name. YOU KNOW, the one that I'm always staring at?" It's FUN to have a crush, plain and simple.

But that only lasts so long. Sure, the first few days you realize you have a crush are absolutely magical, and the few weeks after that are great because you get to bug the heck out of your friends for details about him. But then after a few weeks pass, maybe a couple months, it starts to get sad and pathetic. It goes from, "OmG He iS lyK SooSOSOSOOoo CUTEEEE!" to "Man, I really like him. Do you think he notices me? Do you think he'll talk to me tomorrow?" to "GUYS, WHEN IS HE GOING TO NOTICE ME. DO YOU THINK HE LIKES SOMEONE ELSE? DO YOU THINK HE HATES ME? YEAH, I KNOW I DON'T TALK TO HIM BUT He COULD STILL HATE ME" to "I. hate. myself."

So by the time Valentine's Day runs around, I'm as cynical as a drug addict during Christmas. Yeah, I love to concept of eating chocolates and pink frosted heart cookies and I even like the concept of spreadin' the love...but I wouldn't be opposed to a ban on the celebration of Valentine's Day in public places so that the rest of us lonely, pathetic human beings can be single in peace.

V-day, you suck.

Love,

A

1 comment:

  1. Perfect description of the crush process and Valentine's day.

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