Haewon or Bust.

Somehow I forgot
that the whole reason I started this blog
was to document my journey to finding out
who I want to be,
where I want to end up,
and how to get there.


So to make a big deal out of
recent events,
I'm titling this post as
'Haewon or Bust'.


I'm proud to announce I have graduated from high school,
been accepted to a wonderful college,
and will be leaving everything I know,
in overcast Seattle
where I have lived the entirety of my life thus far,
behind
to pursue my dreams of being
a part of
film.


Scared,
a little,
excited,
no doubt.


The big move from Pacific Northwest
(so green, so blue)
to SoCal
(so yellow, so red)
is August 21.


I hope it is not too cliche
to say
that I am about to begin a new chapter in my life.


Thus, a new chapter in my blog.
It's about turning the new
into my new normal.

Haewon or bust, baby!
-A

If You Are Mildly Interesting, You Make My Blog...

Tomorrow, my friend becomes an adult. Yes, it is her birthday, so naturally I went shopping for her present just today. After I got her real gift, I went to the grocery store to pick up a bag of Swedish Fish (red only) as I do for every gift giving occasion as they are her favorite candy.


As I was perusing the delicious candy that will undoubtedly be the death of me, a cute stock boy walked up with handfuls of candy. 


I turned to him, stuck out my hand and said, "Let's date." And he agreed and we skipped off through the floral department and lived happily ever after...


...But not. The wonderfully awkward person I am, I stood another couple awkward seconds, averted my eyes from the hunk standing next to me, and walked away. A couple seconds after I left, I realized I hadn't even gotten the Swedish Fish I had came for. I didn't want to have to make another trip so, after a few moments of hesitation, laziness won out over embarrassment and I quickly shuffled back, grabbed the candy, and headed towards the self checkout where I could avoid having to talk to a cashier and hide my red face in shame.


Standing in the line, another boy about my age working the self scanners walked up next to me. I was painfully aware of his presence just a few inches from mine. He wasn't cute like the other boy, he was a little (a lot) awkward, his glasses slightly crooked. His flaming red hair matched my flaming red face as I desperately wished for the people ahead of me to hurry up. But of course the lady on my right was digging through her purse for loose pennies, paying her $2.39 one penny at a time, and the man on my left was about how old I would be once I got through the line (so like, 87).


"Hi."


I considered, for a fraction of a second, pretending like I hadn't heard him. But seeing as I have not yet built up enough bitch to completely ignore someone, I turned my head and smiled. "Hi," I said back.


"How's your day?" He held his control scanner like you would imagine a proud hall monitor would hold his detention pad.


"Pretty good, thanks...You?"


"Oh, it's been great so far!" He said this far too enthusiastically. And then I realized that I had seen this boy the day previous. Yes...yes he was the boy who was overly eager to help as I was buying Milano cookies. Before I had even bagged my purchase, the red headed boy was right at my side, tearing the receipt, handing it to me, saying, "Don't forget your receipt, miss! And have a great day!" See you soon. Love you! Ah, of course. How could I forget Eager Boy?


Thankfully, this realization did not take the two minutes it took me to write it, but a split second, and as it occurred to me I had thankfully progressed to a self checkout stand of my own. I breathed a sigh of relief as I half jogged to the checkout.


I guess I shouldn't have been surprised when out of the corner of my eye I saw Eager, control in hand, smile on his face. I could tell he thought our conversation was still going, so I smiled politely but continued with my purchase. After a few seconds of confusion, he slowly sidestepped away.


Thankfully in that moment, a friend of mine (also an attractive boy!) tapped me on the shoulder.


"Hey!" I called, relieved for the break of tension.


I finished buying my stupid Swedish Fish and Lemon Drops and, with a final "Have a good day!" from Eager boy, left the grocery store with my monthly quota of awkward filled.


As anti-climatic as ever, I don't really have a point to this story. So I will satisfy a conclusion with this comic:

-A

Synesthete Lemon

Beneath the Stars...

Currently Listening to:
Mr. Blue by Catherine Feeny


I thrive off of what some people may call 'obsessions'. But they are fascinations, really. Fixations. Like when you find a new word you can't stop saying. "Pedo," for example. Pronounced 'pee dough'. Like in a British accent. (A little too much BBC America for me!) Or when you can't stop staring at the shape of someone's mouth because it is just so perfect and plump and not cracked at all like an old person.


My latest fixation came after I watched the 2010 True Grit. It may seem like an obvious target for my inner Matt Damon-obsessed self, but I swear, it wasn't that.


No. In fact, my fascination is with two semi-specific elements of the movie. The first being Miss Mattie Ross herself, Hailee Steinfeld (as seen on my secondary blog, Synesthete Lemon). My interest is not a dangerous one, but rather the kind of interest a little boy has for trucks, or a mad scientist has for dangerous chemicals. I become interested in people (more or less the reason for the creation of Synesthete Lemon). Her fashion (face of Miu Miu), her interviews, her acting pre-True Grit, her personality, her young age.


My second interest that blossomed from Movie Night Tuesday with mom was that ranch, western, mountainous, terrain. And horses. So of course, I rallied the girls to plan a 24 hour getaway across the mountains for a day+night of horse riding, swimming, and camping.


The horse riding in the movie was fast at times, exciting, wild. At times they also just walked along slowly through open terrain. The latter was more like what we did. And to think I was nervous about going too fast...


We also went swimming. In the melted snow lake.


And camping was great. We got a fire going. Made s'mores. Talked in that way you talk when you are sleeping outdoors and are physically, but not emotionally, tired at night. We woke up completely demolished by the bugs (post-ER trip, anyone?), but I have to say that it was an overall great trip. I got a lot of the need to be a character in True Grit out of my system, although my new macbook wallpaper is a nice reminder of it all:

The life I could have had...

'Night ya'll,
-A

Here Comes the Sun.

Here comes the sun.


The tinted summer skin.


The heat in my hair.


The electric smelling air.


Excitement.


-A