The First Step is Always the Hardest...

I wasn't confident coming to college. Not by any means. But I wish I had braced myself a little more for what I would find in Southern California.


Not sure if it's the heat, or the constant sunshine, or the palm trees that are starting to look a little stupid, or the people who are overly in-your-face confident that is getting to me. I show up like, "Hey! I'm from Seattle and I like coffee and Birkenstocks!" and they respond with a reproachful look and I'm still enthusiastic so I say "I'm a foodie and like indie rock and driving slowly!" and they turn their bleach blond heads away from me and my confidence takes a huge dive and then I cry.


I don't know what I was expecting once I got here. I was expecting something magnificent though. Something that would totally turn me on to film, even more so than I already am. This was my first choice dream school after all. But I show up here all bright eyed and bushy tailed only to be instantly deflated by the style of my film classes.


Am I not cut out for this? Is this not my calling after all?


I feel like I'm letting myself and everyone else down when I say this, but,

I'm ready to go home.

My dreams crumbled down around me so quickly...


-A