And Yet...

I'm thankful for so much this Thanksgiving. And yet, I can't help but spend ten minutes having the tiniest of tiny pity parties for myself.


This is the first Thanksgiving I've ever been away from home. Going home just wasn't an option for me; the plane tickets were too expensive to fly home from university. So I'm in a completely different state this Thanksgiving break.


I'm really lucky in that my friend from home came up to visit me this break from where she goes to school (same state). It's been really fun seeing someone from home. But if I'm going to be honest (and I think we both know I am), it has been a little weird. Because I can feel, in the smallest way, that things have changed for both of us. It's not bad or awkward, it just is.


But it sort of freaks me out. Are things going to be this drastically different for all of us when we go back home and see each other for the first time? Am I going to regret my decision to take the extended break instead of going back to school for interterm like the rest of my college friends are doing?


I'm starting to think I am going to regret it and that I should have just come back to school for the interterm. Does that mean I'm starting to like my college friends more than my friends back home? I don't know. When I'm here at school, I feel like I have no friends. But I feel like my friends back home are slipping away.


I'm stuck somewhere in the middle with no one to turn to.


You know, it' weird. When I started this blog I thought I'd be documenting my journey from high school to pursuing my dream in college and beyond. But this blog has become very personal in a frighteningly real way. Who knew that making friends, something that was so easy in elementary school, would become my biggest stressor?


-A