Missing Florence...

It's no secret that I'm a compulsive traveler.

I was lucky enough to have studied abroad not once, but TWICE, in college. My first study abroad was in Seoul, South Korea in 2013. The following year, this year, I got to go abroad again. This time to Florence, Italy.

Il Fiume Arno in Florence, Italy

I had traveled quite a bit before throughout Asia, but this was my first time setting foot in Europe. I was warned that my study abroad experience in Florence would be nothing like my time spent in Seoul. I took the heads up, packed my one large suitcase, and boarded a flight to Italy on my own.

I was scared, I didn't know a single person in Florence and I wasn't completely confident in my ability to meet people and make friends. My first time abroad I went with my best friend. Sure, we made friends, I even met my ex-boyfriend there, but I always knew that I had someone there who I knew, and who knew me, to go through everything with me. The culture shock, making new friends, navigating a new city. I always had a sidekick.

Tiny Tim aka Michelangelo's "David" (wink wink wink)

When I arrived in Florence, I was more than just a little nervous. I had a full on panic attack the first couple days, doubting whether my housemates and I would get along, wondering what I had gotten myself into. I had the same meltdown my first night in Seoul. It's normal, it's natural, but that doesn't mean it's not still nerve-wracking. 

After seven months apart, my then boyfriend flew in from France to see me my second weekend there. I thought it would be a huge comfort, but in the end it really just made me extremely homesick after he left. I had gotten to spend the weekend with a familiar face when I was still fresh in Florence, and his departure felt like I was starting from scratch in Florence.

View of Florence from 'up the hill'. Florence is much prettier from above.

The first month or so was a bit painful for me. I hadn't found anyone I truly clicked with, and since I only had a semester there, I was afraid that I would go through my whole semester without having made any true friends. Everyone was solidifying their friend groups and booking their trips for the whole semester, and I felt a bit....lonely.

But a few weeks before spring break, I met someone in one of my classes who would eventually become my favorite travel partner. Right after spring break, I met a couple more girls who I spent almost every night out with. What began as a sort of bleak experience blossomed into a seriously self-affirming one. 

I did something I thought I was incapable of. I went to a foreign country alone and came out of it with some of the best experiences and people who I know will be lifelong friends.

Florence, Italy at sunset.

I miss Florence. But not in the way you'd think. While I loved my time abroad, Florence never became my city. It never felt like a second home and it isn't a place that I feel I will find my way back to.

And yet, I have such a strong connection to the city. It taught me how to be a good traveler and that I can make friends. It taught me that it is possible to escape home and find yourself in an even more ill-fitted place. It taught me that having a good experience isn't about loving where you are, but about learning something about yourself.

I learned a lot about myself in those four months, and for that, I will always love Florence.

-A

Sound Off: Have any of you studied abroad? Lived abroad? From another country? I'm planning on moving out of the U.S. after I graduate from college and would love to hear about any of your stories. Maybe you'll inspire me to move to your favorite country! Let me know in the comments below.